my life (:

Saturday, December 20, 2008

♥ 4:26 AM

My blog has been dead for over 2 months D: but now that the year is about to end, i guess it's important that i sum up the year in a few lessons that i've learnt, such that next time when i grow up, i can look back and think 'what the fuck?', which would doubtlessly have therapeutic qualities. it would also provide the additional benefit of teaching juniors perhaps a few survival skills in JC, which is a huge difference from secondary school.

Lesson 1:

Fuck up your secondary school results.

It is important to keep in mind when you are secondary 4 to do badly (or at least, not to do very well) in school. In fact, this should be your top priority, simply because if you do well, you will be dumped in a class full of people who love to do nothing but study (and hence did well). Hence, if you have only enough memory space for one thing, it should be the fact that secondary school life is meant to be fun, and not to study (perhaps paul tern should take notes). Considering the fact that you will be going to RJC anyway, you should make full use of this opportunity to prevent fking up your life, and instead fking up your results. Because when you go to jc i'm pretty sure you will wish you could go back to secondary school and mess up your life. I'm glad i did, but i obviously did not mess it up enough.

Lesson 2:

There are many more idiots than you think there are.

This is another important lesson that i have learnt in RJC, which is that no matter how retarded you think someone is, there will be someone equally retarded, or even more retarded. For example, in sec4, i thought jorel was retarded. Okay, i admit this was a bad example, simply because there are few as retarded as him. However in JC, there are also idiots who would love to spend every break discussing their studies, their abilities (at studying and in general being a wanker) and their grades. Sometimes, they also love to throw in some chemistry or biology discussion, in order to make things cooler and more hip to the public. Of course, I might be the idiot, because of my inability to comprehend the coolness of studying and boasting about my results, and also completing the syllabus before everyone else. Perhaps I am just too lousy in order to hang with this awesome crowd. There are also some idiots who assume 'there is no gravity' when completing physics exams (I think i might be overlapping with my earlier sentence dealing with jorel. however, i'd like to keep the identity of such idiots a secret) and sometimes it never ceases to amaze me how retarded people can get. If you ever spot such idiots, especially those who look like shit and love to mug, please help to sterilize them. With bullets, if you can find some. If not, use your hands.

Lesson 3:

Girls like money.

If you are a guy, it is vital that you grasp this concept. Which is that girls love money. In RJC it is possible to find girls who love receiving gifts from you without repaying you in any way. These golddiggers (whom i guess are kinda like smart prostitutes) are hard to recognize, because some of them are able to pretend to have feelings for you, whereas what they actually have feelings for is your wallet. Which although should be in your pocket, pretty close to your penis, is not really that great as you might think. In fact, many girls would love to have money thrown at them by various guys, and is probably the only reason why she would talk to them in the first place. So, I think that it's a really important lesson to learn, which is that girls like money probably a lot more than they like you. Unless you are made of money. Then I'd like you too, and would probably start touching you. *rustle rustle* ooh dollar notes! and... is that your pennies?

Lesson 4:

Ugly camwhores should be shot dead.

This is yet another crucial lesson which i think should be emphasized to the entire student population. Although I must admit there is nothing wrong with camwhoring, camwhores who look ugly should be killed immediately. This is because with the increase in numbers of social networking websites such as Facebook, it is inevitable that an ugly girl (guys who like to camwhore are usually fags) will end up spamming it with photos of herself, robbing decent people of their eyesight and quite possibly, lives. Such visual terrorists should be locked up, because being visually assaulted by 10000 photos of ugly people smiling at cameras is more than some can handle, and should in fact be classified a Weopon of Mass Distruction. If i were the president, i would go to rjc, and declare a large 'camwhoring session'. I would then separate the eager goodlooking camwhores from the ugly ones, and shoot the latter with huge bullets shaped like cameras so that there would be quite a large quantity of irony involved (getting shot by a camera). I would then proceed to take (nude) pictures with the goodlooking camwhores. But i guess such things are only the stuff of dreams.

Lesson 5:

Your old friends are best.

Remember that it's hard to find good times like that anymore.

I realise that there are still many more valuable lessons that I have picked up, and will be able to pass on to others, and that just one post is not enough. So i shall post again tomorrow.

One day i will write a book and earn lots of money. then i will eat the money. and perhaps the book as well.

Because i am awesome like that.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

♥ 8:18 AM

i realise my blog has been really really neglected and i'm sorryy i've just been really busy lately! once my physics olympiad shit is over i'll start blogging nonsense all over again (: thanks to all those who actually come down to read my crap!

see you guys in school!!!!!!1!

Good Charlotte - Where would we be now

I smile, you laugh, I look away
I sigh, you ask me why, I say,
It's ok and I am just feeling' down
Your hand on mine
I hear the words
If only love had found us first,
Our lives they would be different, oh

So I stand and wait,
I am just a man, oh
Where would we be now baby,
If we found each other first,
Where would we be now baby,
And now I must confess, that I'm a sinking ship
And I'm anchored by the weight of my heart
Cause it's filled with these feelings
But I keep my true thoughts locked, beside my hearts black box
And it won't be found, it won't survive through the smoke or the wreckage
So I crash and burn,
I got a lot of things to learn, oh

Where would we be now baby,
If we found each other first
What would you do now darling,
If I said these simple words
I'll wait, I'll wait
As long as you want
But where would we be now baby

I'll wait, I'll wait

Where would we be now baby,
If we found each other first
What would you do now darling,
If I said these simple words
I'll wait, I'll wait
As long as you want
But where would we be now baby
I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

♥ 5:23 AM

kevinlim and i had a discussion a few weeks back about what we 4P ppl are going to be when we grow up. after much thought and effort (15 minutes or so on msn) we came up with a list on what we will probably become in the decades to come!

so here's the list of things. maybe 20 years down the road we can come back and check and see if we got them right (:

1. carvin - random number generator
2. tedric - drug lord
3. gareth - soccer player with homosexual scandals
4. jorel - math and antigravity teacher
5. chee - bye
6. nat - bra mannequin / food taster
7. gan - pimp with da white trench coat / jacket thing
8. slau - Golden Army Gangsta
9. merrill - azumerrill
10. daniel - dicktator of singapore
11. leoson - chief economic advisor to the sultan of brunei
12. kevinlim - malaysian charged for sodomy (as usual)
13. moses - Golden Army Wanksta
14. hiokhong - the one who will secks my butt D:
15. edmund - the one who will secks 5-year old girls' butts
16. paultern - the one who will secks textbooks' butts
17. seetow - Master Baker / President of Singapore/ in jail (most likely)
18. bentay - internationally wanted assasin, arsonist, terrorist, rapist etc
19. jotham - transexual prostitute
20. tzern - the one you will put in your mouth (omg sounds damn wrong)
21. ding - on-foot delivery man with homosexual scandals
22. joshua - pr0n distributor
23. tom - the one girls want to buttsecks
24. will - corrupt police official
25. peng - china figurehead/headfigure/head/head/head

just a very short post to keep my blog alive ^^ and eh. i think this list is actually going to be quite accurate!!! just have to wait and see!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

♥ 6:12 AM

waow it has been a really long time since i last blogged! a shitload of stuff has happened like 4P chalet, CTs, match supports, buttsecks and of course, national day! 4P chalet was seriously awesome and we took alot of photographs which were mainly people pointing their middle fingers or hiok humping my ass.

there, a nice picture of me getting raped by jotham and hiokhong and nat and TOM (!?) and with bentay and spastic grinning in the background. X_X wtf huh! but not bad la chalet was damn fking fun, i seriously cannot wait for the end of year chalet which will be even more awesome cos everybody will be staying the full duration and going crazy! and btw guys paul tern's bday is coming up soon, i think i will pass around a list of what you guys would like to be done to him and we will hardcore on his bday PAUL TERN IF YOU READ THIS (which i doubt you do) YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!

national day was damn funny xD spent like 4 hours stoning with kat and only managed to watch 25 minutes of Kung Fu Hustle wtf i'm sure library counter close at 330 do what shit! talking about doing shit, chocolate stick! knvm. then after that for the actual celebration i sat with seetow and slau and tamichiobu and lisa and bentay and joshua and nat and kat and joanne and holy shit, we went totally insane. it was almost like being back in ri again! threw lightsticks up onto the gallery where the teachers were sitting, then threw them onto the stage. seetow broke a lightstick i think, since his back was glowing in the dark, wtf! swore like crazy at every single thing (actually even when there was nothing), sang all the songs damn loudly, and fked up my throat pretty badly in the process since i was screaming non stop for the 2 hours! after that took a few photos with naomi and kat like

and

then after that went for some hardcore phototaking on the rooftop with 4P where we had chainbuttsecks and suicide shots and of course our traditional taupok peng photos and middle finger photos! i hope those don't get uploaded anywhere public cos that would be quite bad for all our reputations (ESPECIALLY PAUL TERN WHO WAS PARTICIPATING IN THEM)!!! 4P we should really have more of these kinda sessions, maybe next one during teacher's day or smth! it should coincide with paul tern's birthday so that would be really really awesome and violent (hence awesome)!!

this is the end of my blogpost i hope i get to update my blog more often ): see you guys around in school!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

♥ 1:14 AM

i just had a msn conversation with seetow not long ago, and after abit of discussion about our chalet, we started talking about life in our old class. and well damn, i miss all of you buggers so much wtf!

i know i've not even been close to a good student in sec3 and sec4, and i didn't mug hard or make a conscious effort to do well in subjects. i know that if i had studied, i would probably have gotten something higher than 3.76 for my gpa. but you know what? if i had a chance to go all the way back to sec3, when we first started screwing up our lessons and messing with our teachers' heads, i wouldn't change anything at all! i'd do everything over again. in a sense, i'd be throwing away my chance for shit like winning awards or some other crap, but damn, i'd do it all.

and i want you guys to know that you've been my best pals for 2 years, and all of you have taught me alot. i came into sec3 an insensitive asshole and you guys have made me a better person, basically into who i am today. i've not always been the best role model (never even been one) but i've always tried to be a good friend. i appreciate the fact i was never alone when i ran into trouble and when i needed help with my life. it was the best 2 years i'd ever known!

thanks specially goes out to tzern, who was with me every step of the way.

things i miss the most:

-when yougotpenged first came into existence
-gluing stuff to the ceiling and the walls
-taupoking the fathead & headboy
-bullying the spastic
-jorel 'stooking his head' in the microwave
-is you blind?
-sleeping in every class
-doing homework diligently (HAHA RIGHT)
-kevinlim's oral defense
-reinforced service pack 2
-hanging out with tzern slau and seetow
-playing soccer during PE
-coming back late for math
-playing slau's psp during chinese
-playing intheclass softball
-our philo and CLE lessons (rmb the samuel incident?)
-the day paul tern said fk
-the great chem escape
-reckless driving on gan's mac
-jotham the slut
-'accidentally' breaking stuff in class
-eating in class in front of will
-ponning assembly together
-'unlocking' the 3P doors
-pissing off all our teachers with our warped logic
-the bio lesson with the visualizer and teck beng
-all the vulgarities written on the 4P walls
-the mealworms (are they still there?)
-playing lierro in class for the 2 hours before bio paper started
-getting scolded together
-fong say fong say fong say fong
-bye chee bye chee bye chee bye
-class chalets
-not giving a shit about anything besides to have fun
-the days we all spent together!!1!

damn. there're so many more things which makes me wish we'd taken more photos back then. but i guess what's important are the memories! and i'll be seeing all of you tomorrow in the chalet (:

if only i had another day to live it all again!

but for a moment, it was as if I was in love again.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

♥ 7:16 AM

hahaha omg i nearly forgot something very funny that happened during the camp! this conversation occurred in the bus from the mangrove back to the campsite.

stefan: who wants biscuits? *passes around biscuits*
slau and i: *look at each other* SOGGY BISCUIT!!!
stefan: do you want the biscuits or not?
slau and i: WHO WANT SOGGY BISCUIT
stefan: fine my biscuit soggy you all don't want to eat lor!

hahahaha wtf slau and i laughed till we nearly died. soggy biscuit!!! wtf!!!!1!

i sure hope stefan has gotten the joke by now. it would not be cool for him to offer other people soggy biscuits. o_o shit.

♥ 4:24 AM

my blog lives again!! after 1 month of inactivity! thanks for tagging people >< i'm surprised you guys bother to come down to look at my inactive blog. shit manz i saw slau's blog got hell lot of posts; my one for like half a year only got like 10 posts. knn!!! nvm will try post more, especially after 4P chalet!!

i think i will blog about ccal camp!

when i first heard about ccal camp i quite sian la, cos i mean have to buy backpack, buy wetshoes, buy chee buy, buy so much stuff, then one week of my holidays also gone! but then after the camp i realise that actually, it wasn't too bad after all. at the camp we did alot of cock stuff like play stupit games, climb stupit walls, talk to stupit ppl (basically discuss math with olivia! okay joking joking >< please dont cry), etc etc.

the first day we had to go to some mud place to camp out, which sucked (even tho olivia's cooking not bad) cos the ground was srsly damn screwed up and in the middle of the night yiyun suddenly shouted 'MERRILL! CAN CHANGE TENT!?' and i was quite wtf COS I WAS ALR HALF ASLEEP!!! KNN! but in the end changed tent, and i realised that it must have been quite difficult for them to sleep there cos it was on a whole bunch of rocks and i spent my night with a rock fitted up my arse. rock. yes. it is an R. not a C. it was quite a loser day because the whole day also never do anything, then have to pee in the forest (later mosquito bite there, i duno what to do)!! our teacher facilitator mr lan was srsly quite cool because i must have said a hundred 'f**k's and he didn't do anything but laugh, even at one point where yiyun screamed 'WHAT THE F**K' really loudly when she scalded her hand. not bad! for our reflections we didnt really do shit, just talked abit of crap, took a piss in the bushes, and went to sleep earlier than anyone else.

second day was some insane shit, where we had dragon boating! our dragon boating was damn screwed up because first we were shouting '1... 2.. 1.. 2..' which didn't work and then pauline started shouting 'in.. out.. in.. out..' WHICH IS QUITE SICK LA, SERIOUSLY LOR then in the end we settled on 'B.. J.. B.. J..' which mr lan didn't seem to mind. pauline started talking some crap about how 'too much BJ (ben and jerry's) make your mouth numb' and i nearly fell off my boat laughing. shitz. then after that we slacked for an hour or so (our group went to steal other ppl's food and medical supplies, whoops) before going on the freaking land expedition, or in some alien language, wakatopi trail. chengwen and i carried some 30kg piece of shit for like 4-5 km through a fking jungle!! i must admit my groupmates were very encouraging and i really appreciated it. but hot damn, after that we had to make our way (a very stupid way) out of the jungle and finally we were released from that fking jungle. after that we went back to washup and there was some night game where we basically cheated and talked rubbish for one and a half hours. but it was okay, because at least i got a proper bath! too bad night time i had some screwed up dream of the wakatopi trail and in my dream, when it was over i was so tired i fell asleep. and that was when i woke up from my dream. WTF!!!

third day was pretty boring, some reforestation stuffs but on the bus i realised that pauline could really sing! damn i was impressed. hahaha slau pauline and sherrie kept singing on the bus trip and i must admit they're pretty good. hmm. but you guys kept me from sleeping, so fk all of you. -_- during reforestation slau's butt got stuck in the mud HAHA and chengwen got bitten by some weird shit so he shouted 'F***K*NG CH**BYE' and everybody was laughing their asses off (except slau, whose ass was unfortunately stuck in the mud). before that was some rafting activity where we had to build a raft. our raft chao imba shit, go damn freaking far, but also take damn mother long to go back to shore -_- and the last part of day 3 was the campfire, which was not bad (cos of the food) and during the campfire i couldn't help lying to people. for example when we were told to shift away from the shore i started shouting 'GUYS, PLEASE MOVE TOWARDS THE SEA' then got people really follow >< after the entire campfire when we were told to clear our rubbish i shouted 'GUYS, BURY YOUR SHIT UNDER THE SAND' then got people really bury la wth!!1! i really didn't know what to say. during the song 'pass it on' slau chengwen and i didn't know any lyrics besides 'pass it on', so we shouted really loudly 'PASS IT ON PASS IT ON PASS IT ON' even when everybody had stopped singing. ohwells. is the thought that counts!

on the fourth day we just packed all our shit and left the campsite. really not much to say. but i realised something. throughout the camp, these are the few phrases i can recall chengwen saying.

'hahaha'
'f**k'
'f**king hell'
'f**king ch**bye'
'f**king kill him'
'f**king kill them'
'step on his face'
'slau, i r*pe your ass'
'yes'
'no'
'slau, dont instigate a fight'

hmm. an interesting assortment!

but anyway, i am glad to have met my ccal group consisting of yiyun (whose thinking is very screwed up), pauline (whose thinking is even more screwed up!! EVEN MORE SCREWED UP THAN MINE!!), zixuan (who started swearing after a while), sherrie loe (street dancer who offered to help me hold the 30kg weight), azizah (even tho i did not really get to know her well), stefan (for consistently taking photos of us, which was abit creepy, and asking me about 'lunchie'), victor (who is still very quiet), olivia (who can cook but cannot count up to 6), chengwen (who apparently likes to kill people) and slau (who kena groin abrasion! haha! jackass!!) and thanks for making the camp so much fun for me! and also thanks to mr lan, who let me swear nonstop for the duration of the camp. if only there were more teachers like you! :D

sia la what a long post. got to go back and mug now!!!!
CHALET IN A WEEK!! I CANNOT WAIT!! ARGHHH!!!!!! SEE YOU GUYS SOON!!!!!